Remember that essay I was just bitching about?

Playing guitar is a fun way of expressing one’s feelings and thoughts through auditory form. Before you can play guitar amazingly, you must know some things about the instrument itself. You must know how to pick, how to tune, and how to ROCK! Hopefully my essay will be good enough to explain to you the basic details it takes to play guitar.
First, you must learn to hold a guitar pick right. Curl your pointer finger like in a fist, and set the guitar pick along the ridge of your finger. Find a comfortable position. Then, place your thumb on it and hold it fairly tight. To actually pick the guitar, you must try to hit the strings as lightly as you can with the very tip of the guitar pick. There are several different types of picking styles. There is palm muting, which is placing the palm of your hand slightly on the strings as to create a stacotto plucking sound. Another style is tremolo picking, which is simply sweeping your pick up and down the notes of your choice, while keeping the strings free of your palm. There are many other types of guitar picking.
Secondly, you must know how to tune your guitar. I actually don’t know how, but it’s not hard. If one of your strings is in tune, it’s fairly simple to get the rest to match up. Tune the selected string until it matches the 5th fret of the string right below it in tone. On the 2nd string from the bottom, it has to match to the 4th fret however. Tuning is a key factor for learning to play whatever song you want to play. Before you learn a song, make sure you are in the correct tuning that the song is in.
Finally, you need to learn to ROCK! First, you need to grow your hair out. This can kind of suck, but when it gets past the shoulders, it’s a piece of cake. Second, get some awesome band shirts. Anything from the 80s will do with the exception of Bon Jovi or Cinderella. Third, go to a Heavy Metal concert. That last step is about all you really need to get fully into the music. Finally, jump off your bed screaming praise to Dio and throw up the horns! Putting these moves to good use while playing guitar isn’t easy, but if you do, you’ll master the art of complete awesome-ness.
Hopefully you’ve learned the basics of playing a guitar. If you think you’re up to the challenge, go for it, because the world needs more guitar players. Just try not to write horrible music like we’re all so used to hearing.

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