Airdash – Hospital Hallucinations Take One – 37%

During this review, I’m going to be throwing out a lot of song comparisons to Anthrax. Because that’s what it sounds like, only bad. I mean CHRIST, even their logo shares characteristics of Anthrax’s.

But without the comedy I guess. The thing I notice most about this album is how fucking weak it sounds. The guitar riffs, when heard/understood correctly (you have to hear them to understand what I mean), are pretty fucking lame. Whenever they’re not chording pointlessly about, the riffs are simply bad Crossover. At 3:12 in “If…” they actually pull out a semi-enjoyable riff that sounds like some reject from Persistence of Time, only slower and more meaningless. “Youth Hostel” has a good riff to start off that any thrash fan can enjoy, if you’ve never heard the Anthrax original.

I don’t know what the fuck it is, but the vocals are fucking weak! They constantly go in and out of tune, with no real feeling for which note they were going for in the first place. Who honestly thought this guy would make a good thrash vocalist? The vocals on this album sound a lot like on the Deafen EP. Imagine Joey Belladonna with literally nothing (we’re past the point of castration here) below his waist, and you get Juha Laine’s vocals.

One highlight of the album has to be “Jungle Jim.” It starts off with a (waddaya-know?!?!) acoustic guitar intro ala “Be All, End All.” Then the drums come along slightly reminding me of The Enemy, only nowhere near as awesome. Then the mid-paced sound Metallica’s Death Magentic has captured so well shines on here, not sounding a bit more original than that. Now that I mention it, fans of Death Magnetic might enjoy this if they enjoy their thrash with literally no thrashing. The reason this song is a highlight though is that it doesn’t actually flat-out suck. The riffs, for being as mid-paced as they are, are enjoyable and comprehendable. “Decent Citizen” and “Forbidden Thoughts” follow suit here, being in pretty much the same vein, though quite a bit more sterile and same-y. “Forbidden Thoughts” in particular tends to rip off the intro to “Caught in a Mosh,” just a ton more boring. It turns into a competent thrasher though with second rate riffs, but hey! It’s good for them. “LAAAAAAAAW AND ORDERRRR” is one of the worst vocal lines ever. Then the gang vocals show up to back those pussy vocals up by going “ORDER!” and it’s just a fucking weak mess.  They manage to throw out a little bit of an Acid Drinkers sound, especially in the drums. I wouldn’t be surprised if this album influenced Acid Drinkers. Thankfully, AD did crossover right whearas this album doesn’t seem to do anything right.

“Vengeance through Violence” picks up the pace but still manages to bore the living fuck out of me. “Trigger Happy” fares no better. When this band thrashes, don’t take notice, because it’s not worth it. “Sleepwalk,” while having nothing to do with new Megadeth, sure makes me wish I was listening to Megadeth instead. The leads in this song are literally A) Copy and paste any Kirk Hammett solo or B) Copy and paste from “Jungle Jim” or “Youth Hostel.”

Fuck this album. If you think Anthrax has too much balls and you ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE IT, get this.

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