Archive for June, 2009

Billy Mays is a legend

Posted in News on June 29, 2009 by misainzig

And no one can take that away from him. Love him or hate him, that man revolutionized what we see in commercials, and there is no denying that. I personally don’t see how anyone could hate his approach. He obviously loved what he did, and he threw every amount of enthusiasm he could possibly muster into his job.

It’s very sad to see him go. He made commercials worth watching. There will never be another one like him, that’s for sure.

Rest in Peace Billy Mays.

1958-2009

billymays

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WHAT THE FUCK?!

Posted in News on June 28, 2009 by misainzig

COME BACK BILLY MAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Billy Mays > Ed McMahon > Michael Jackson > David Carradine > Farrah Fawcett

Yeah, I fucking went there.

Farewell, Metal Archives…

Posted in The Interweb on June 27, 2009 by misainzig

Appears I’ve been banned for asserting my assholishness. Don’t know if I’ll be allowed back in this time. It was quite a fun run I had on there though.

I’m naturally an asshole to those I find not worth a shit. I can normally help it, but every once in a while… I can turn into an egonomical douche bag.

Simply wonderful…

Klimt 1918 – Undressed Momento 2003 – 0%

Posted in Heavy Metal Reviews on June 25, 2009 by misainzig

This band reminds me of the gay/majority side of dredg without the fun progressive edge. Uselessly melodic, with simple riffs and melodies that you’d expect from your modern mainstream crap. Gothic Metal? Blow me! HOLY SHIT! THIS IS SO AWESOME. THEY THREW IN DOUBLE BASS! HOW METAL!! Yeah fucking right. Double bass alone doesn’t make a metal band, and if that’s not completely obvious to you, don’t even read my fucking review. Seriously.

The guitars are clean pretty much the entire time, giving off that “melancholic” vibe the band is going for (I guess). When they do flip the distortion switch, it’s simply no heavier. I don’t think I’ve ever come across a band that fails to gain an edge when they go from clean to distorted. Everything here is lame, pussyfooting around, and incredibly bland. To their credit, they’ve managed to create an absolute milestone in homosexuality. I’m not very versed in the work of gothic band The Cult, but those are the douche bags I imagine behind the instruments when I hear this. On Parade of Adolescence, they throw in some fake orchestral elements, which do nothing but add to the rather pussified environment the music emits.

We Don’t Need No Music is a song that pisses me off more than normal. First of all, that incredibly trendy bad grammar thing is getting really fucking old. Secondly, if you’re going to rip off someone’s bass playing, don’t pick the guy from Faith No More. This song has nearly the exact same bass intro as Epic. Throughout the album, they manage to rip off many other gay bands as well. Yep, they’re all here, with U2, Faith No More, and dredg being the biggest offenders.

List of things this album out-gays:

-All of the aforementioned bands up above.

-Richard Simmons licking peanut butter from your dog’s crotch.

-It manages to set a new benchmark for Italians, which was previously thought to be impossible due to the existence of Lacuna Coil.

-Clay Aiken

-Deathcore

At times, this release APPROACHES (I’m sure you know what that word means, but look it up again as to make my point stand out even more) metalcore. The use of rather swift double-bass behind those sugary guitars simply leaves a horrible taste in anyone’s mouth. Their creativity really (no, not really) shows when they make use of the “DUH DEH DUH DUH……DUH DEH DUH DUH….” type riffstyle that is found so often in modern music these days. And you can find that shit in EVERY song. I could see the vocalist in a Power Metal band, but I guarantee you that would be gay as well. One pitfall the band doesn’t manage to fall into is the horrible “harsh” vocal trends of modern times. That earns this piece of shit a point, but the fact I had to listen to the whole thing takes that point right back away. The use of pitch-shifted vocals are of course, horrible as any sensible person would expect.

All of the songs are painfully overlong, sans the intro. The intro is at least void of their musical uncreativity.

Listening to this album is the equivilent of getting shot in the eye with semen, as in it should only be experienced by women and homosexual men.

I look like a fucking chipmunk…

Posted in Life, Ranting on June 24, 2009 by misainzig

The dentist said ice would keep the swelling down. HE LIED! Yeah I got my lower wisdom teeth out yesterday. The procedure itself wasn’t all that bad, but the agonizing pain over the last 24 hours has been hellish. Plus…I look like a fucking chipmunk.

I can’t eat anything, except yogurt or pudding. Who the fuck can live off that shit? Not I, friends… not I.

FUCK THE FUCKING COUGH!

Posted in Life, Ranting on June 16, 2009 by misainzig

Yeah this sucks. Not only am I going on the weirdest sleep schedule possible, I’ve got this unstoppable cough that is simply annihilating my ass.

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. I suppose that’s going to fucking blow. I’m probably going to cough all over Dr. Taylor’s face. Actually I know that won’t happen, as he has this cool face shield that reminds me of something one would wear whilst welding, though it is clear, so there’s no actual potential for retinal protection.

I’ve got no friends, no money, no job, no car…

Well I’ve got friends, but it’s not like any of those douche-bags ever call me or anything. Since graduating High School last month, I’ve received significantly less phone calls then while I was enrolled.

Oh yeah I guess I never mentioned it here, but I actually graduated. Pretty cool milestone I guess. It’s the start of a new beginning for me.

I’m what you could call pro-pro abortion…

Posted in Ranting on June 14, 2009 by misainzig

As in, it should be mandatory for all pregnant females. Then, in roughly 80 years, the world would be improved a hundred times over.

Screw all of these people who want to abolish abortion. A birthday is a birthday because that is when you become a human being. You don’t celebrate your birthday 9 months before you are born, do you? The birthing process is what turns us from fetuses to humans. If the mother dies before the baby is born, it is not actually a baby. Therefore, you don’t actually count (at all really, but that’s another story) until your birthday.

They obviously don’t have the great ideals of the majestic Misainzig in mind. After all, you have all realized by now that my opinion is superior to yours.

/sarcasm